HOW TO; find your balance in a chaotic world

There is a yin to every yang. There is no beauty without ugly, there is no calm without chaos. Finding your balance in life can be very difficult when you're trying to balance too much at once. It's something I'm trying to master, but I'm aware that true balance exists.

True Balance

Balancing too many things at once can set you back because you're ultimately more focused on certain things over others. The things that take precedence are put first subconsciously while the others fall short of your attention which makes them to be less accurate as they would've been if they would've had your full attention. Multi-tasking can be a yin and yang situation. You get everything done but yet the sacrifice is that they're not all done to the best of your ability. Prioritizing is something we automatically do, but to prioritize means to put the more important things in front of everything else. That being said, it's important to acknowledge the difference between what you'd like to put first and what needs to be done first.

There are certain expectations that we set for ourselves that can sometimes be unrealistic and make more out of things than they actually are. Women in particular have all this pressure to be this perfect well rounded individual that always has her shit together. I think this is an extreme bias that we face as women to be the best at our work position, the best girlfriend, the perfect house-wife, get the best grades or achievements, have the best hair, skin, nails, body, makeup, face etc. The insane amount of things we are expected to keep under control is too much. The fact is we do not HAVE to do any of these things, we don't have to maintain it all. We choose to because it makes us feel, one step closer to being perfect, and this is where it becomes a problem. Perfection is impossible to achieve.

I think it's important to only focus on what you're passionate about and what makes you feel complete in this chaotic world. Keep the things in check that matter to you. In the grand scheme of things it's still difficult to maintain your schedule on top of all the extra things society makes us feel like we have to do or have. So I want to share some ways that we can balance our busy schedules while also keeping ourselves and our well being in mind.

1) Remove the Negativity; this seems self explanatory but there are always things in our lives that can bring us down even if we're unaware. They can take time away from completing our responsibilities or our extracurricular tasks that we enjoy having time for. Negative stressors can come in the form a toxic relationship or a job that you dread going to. Get rid of anything that doesn't make you happy. Analyze this, and truly decipher between what makes you want to wake up in the morning and what makes you feel powerless. Removing the negative things will leave more room for the positive things. Balancing positive things in your life is always a good thing.

2) Don't Over-Do Anything; try to avoid signing yourself up for more activities than you're capable of doing. I'm not saying you should avoid opportunity or underestimate what you can accomplish, but don't make unrealistic expectations of what you can get done in one day. If you're someone who never says no, like me, this is something that can be difficult to break. Prioritize your responsibilities over anything else, otherwise when you have no time left to get those important tasks done you cause more stress for yourself. If you can't get everything you want to get done in one day, don't be discouraged. There is simply not enough time in the day. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break.

3) Plan; make a schedule and stick to it! If working out is something that makes you feel good, designate some time for that within your schedule. If you love to paint, create a time slot for you to work on a project throughout the week. Make a schedule that will help you be your best self. Make the time to relax. For those of us that have school, work, and are trying to maintain a social life, try to set aside time just for you! Make a point to have lunch with yourself or to go get your nails done or anything that you want to do to feel good. Planning ahead of time can prevent you from procrastinating your responsibilities and help you leave space for the secondary activities.

4) Relax; our society is the only country that is constantly on the go. We never take the time to clear our minds and our schedules to just unwind. Busy schedules create so much stress on your body. My suggestion is to spend an hour each day just relaxing in any way you can. I like to meditate for 20 minutes a day to clear my head. I also like to designate time to come home for lunch to just not think about anything I have to get done and just be present. I think it's important for us to focus on our well-being before investing in multiple activities. If your mind is clear you will perform so much better at your daily tasks and be able to manage stress more effectively.

These four things help me stay on track and avoid feeling like I'm drowning in the weight of the world when I have too much going on. Sometimes when you have too many responsibilities it can cause anxiety and make you feel like it's impossible to do it all. If you develop time management skills and make time for your well-being, the stress is easier to lift. You're able to evaluate what's really important to focus on and what's not. This also helps to make you feel good about what you have accomplished instead of what you haven't. Making time to relax and to do things that I enjoy has helped alleviate day to day stressors. Most importantly understanding that no one is perfect and it's impossible to do too many things in one day, has helped me find my balance.

I hope this guide helps you reduce the pressures of the chaos in your life!

- Alyssa